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10/27/2001 - How Not To Write A Screenplay
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Teleplay Tips & Tricks

How Not To Write A Screenplay

1. Start without an outline and wing it.
2. Have your characters talk and talk and talk.
3. Make sure that key events happen off camera.
4. Start without an outline and wing it.
5. Make your dialog totally realistic, plain, and dull.
6. Don't write anything that hasn't been seen before.
7. Have lots of chase scenes.
8. Better yet, make the whole script one long chase.
9. Start without an outline and wing it.
10. Create characters not even a mother could love.
11. Remember that a joke isn't funny unless you've already laughed at it in another movie.
12. Make all your characters victims adrift in the sea of fate.
13. Use lots of fancy descriptive phrases like "adrift in the sea of fate."
14. Did I say to start without an outline and wing it?

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